Burning bushes have been speaking to me lately. As cold winds of regret whisper quietly in my ear…
“You’re not enough”.
“It’s too late for you.”
“Stop dreaming about more.”
And today I decided I’m tired of “shoulding” on myself.
Heared that term years ago from my Big Sis Meg. And as much as I’d like to say I’ve got the case of the “shoulds” beat-I don’t.
I should be writing in this space twice a week. But right now I can’t seem to find that clearing in my head nor time to be consistent in my schedule -but I’m here today and I always return.
I should have a cleaner home. But I don’t. And I decided a long time ago that I’d rather spend time checking in with each of my children on the daily than tidying up every corner and cabinet in my home.
I should have a book deal by now. But it’s not ready. Still. Not. Ready. Got edits from my editor and it looks and feels like there is still more to mesh, more to grow, more to layer, more to hope for. And as much as I’m struggling with this news-I gotta embrace it. Pull up my sleeves, grab a new pen and fresh piece of paper and ask the one who is the Author of my life to take me through this process again. Once. Again.
I am His words-poured out. He gets to decide “the how” and “the when”.
My list of shoulds could go on forever-but I’ve had enough of the spinning. I’m sure you’ve gone there too?
Let’s reach out for more of “surrender” and less of “the shoulds'”.
I shared more about letting go over in the Mudroom. So grateful for this group of writers who are keeping me inspired to hold on to my dream of writing-even it’s by my pinky-toe nail! LOL.
Here’s to the season of surrender.