If you know me well, you know I’m a Daddy’s Girl.
Ain’t got no shame in it. Always have been, always will be! Lol!
He has taken me out on dates consistently since I was 12 years old-I am almost 42. From Mr. Burgers to MrGrath’s Fish House– to Vietnam pho to Italian fettuccine- we have dined often and we have dined well.
He was the first to open my door and teach me the art of conversation. We have read books, debated opinions, and mapped out world-changing dreams-all across the table-together.
We have poured out fears, regrets, mistakes-over milkshakes and mochas.
He has remained my constant. Through break-ups, break-downs and break-throughs he is like my north star. When my confidence is shaken or faith unsure he is my mirror of truth, grace and more truth topped with love.
Many (and I have to admit during my younger years I too) have misunderstood his directness as too mean or too much. But as I now swim wide into the ocean of midlife waters, I search for those anchors of truth he planted and continues to plant deep into my mind and soul.
And I don’t have to go far to find them.
Some are in a shoebox in my garage. When I studied abroad in Zimbabwe for four month, he wrote me almost everyday and I kept every letter. Many of his truth anchors are lodged in my bibles and highlighted on old church bulletins.
He’s the perfect cross between Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Muhammad Ali-and that’s exactly how he preaches.
Poetic. Straight-forward. Strong. Unapologetically.
I have clipped every newspaper article and saved every Pastor’s appreciation program. From pulpit to stadium, to classroom to boardroom-whatever he accomplished-I accomplished too-at least that’s how it’s always felt.
My daughter and I got into an argument the other day. It started out like this.
“Mommy, I love you.”
“Nu, I love you more.”
“Mommy there is no way possible a parent come love a child more.”She stared me straight in the eye.
“NuNu, I birthed you into this world. I carried you in my belly. You have no idea how much more I love you, than you love me.”
“Nope Mommy. It’s just not true.”
“Because you can’t feel what my heart feels, when I think of you!”
At this point in the conversation her voice was raised and emotions high. Instead of arguing the point, I went ahead and decided to give her this one.
Yesterday during our lunch date I reached out and grabbed my Daddy’s hand.
“Daddy, I love you”.
“Honey, I love you more.” He looked me straight unto the eye.
I remembered my daughter’s words and said to myself.
“Nope Daddy. It’s just not true. You don’t know what my heart feels, when I think of you.”