STUCK (A poem I wrote the month I almost lost my voice-AGAIN)

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Flow

I find myself unable to flow
Like a stream restricted with
debris and branches of
Half cut dreams
Twisted with twigs of living for today’s reality of
Bills due, milk costing $3.52, and
Momma,I need a new pair of shoes.

They keep saying “ you can do it” and “don’t give up”
But every time I get a grip and try to lift
The unwanted constrictions that keep dirtying
This precious space of quenched waters
I slip

Not from the lack of fight or desire
But from the weight and pain of this thorn in my side
That You have permitted to be-next to me-pierced so deep
Lord,God can’t you see, this ain’t what I wanted
I plead

I need

You to take it away -now

Or give me a reason

To my “why me”, “why me again”

I scream

I hear
Love can conquer this fear
Grace is enough and sufficient
Strength in Him will be your anchor

I wait
Yes me, the Girl who was left abandoned

Now the Woman who knows He does rescue, BUT…
In His time
In His time
In His, “might not come when you want him, but He’s always right on time”-TIME

I trust

Reach out, these arms

Breathe in, this air

Close shut, cried-heavy eyes

You take
All that’s wrong right out my hand
Seal hope tight where I couldn’t stand
Nestle me close as you sing
Heavenly anthems of kingdom themes

Stuck no longer in this stream

Now in your arms
You let me see

What I couldn’t

Footprints in the sea you have departed

Waves waiting to be sailed

As long as I remember that
Droughts are needed to remind me

You create

The Living Water and decide
How they should flow-not me

A droplet in the desert
One million waves of the sea
You are the One who holds it all

And you are the One
Who keeps holding me

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8 thoughts on “STUCK (A poem I wrote the month I almost lost my voice-AGAIN)

    Meg said:
    July 8, 2014 at 6:08 am

    Beautiful reminder of who it’s about! All anyone has is Christ! Yet he is ALL!

      Velynn Brown responded:
      July 9, 2014 at 1:46 pm

      Yes, He truly is all we have.

    Patricia Avant (@patriciaavant) said:
    July 8, 2014 at 2:18 pm

    Nice-but is it true? Could it be that HIS(her-it-their) help is intermittent because He has empathy for us–but would really rather we take a pick axe to the problem and carve our own path? Chip away at our mountains ourselves- until they are tiny hills we can “trample under our feet?” And truly step over them-ONCE AND FOR ALL TIME? “If you truly had faith TRULY believed- you would say to that mountain-MOVE” Could it be that HE wants us to FINALLY Figure it out-by really listening-Maybe HE only helps us ONCE in A while because what HE really wants is for us to get UP off our knees and start walking-dependency-even on Jesus – is STILL dependency. Often we are stuck-because we are afraid. Afraid to take REAL NO-NET risk-leaps of TRUE faith- . Why me-why me again-is a clue-why you-why you again-because you-(me-we) have not fully embraced the laws that govern life..Life is a obstacle course Jesus gave us navigational tools-maybe the drought is for brain storming-not a crying session.

      Velynn Brown responded:
      July 9, 2014 at 1:44 pm

      Love the way you wrestle with what God permits and what He plans and purposes. This past month I had to come to peace with a diagnosis I had been trying to conquer in my own strength using my own “ax”. I wanted so bad and have been trying to do it (the rescuing, the healing) on my own. I needed to be rescued this time-but I agree there are other times when we must help free our own selves.

    Mesu Andrews said:
    July 8, 2014 at 4:48 pm

    Beautiful, sis. Love you. 😉

    Terri Picone said:
    July 15, 2014 at 12:37 am

    Thanks for sharing all of our struggles — part of life — in such a beautiful way.

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