Somewhere in the Middle-A Poem On Transformation

Mind spinning like a rubix cube trying to set in order the scrambled colors while leaving solid ones untouched

Reflections of the younger me still ricochet back familiar postures, angles and form figure

Making me stop and smile at yesterday’s cemented memories of childhood highs and glory

“Remember back in the day when we us to…”
“New school what you know about rap, hip hop, R & B, life?”

As my elders in my ear whisper…

“You just a baby yourself.”
“Keep on living child, let life build- you not break you.”

I’m somewhere in the middle

You see life has thrown unpredictable wonder and spiritual warfare

I’m like a kid in a candy store with pockets deep with quarters-stocking up on Now and Laters, Jolly Ranchers and Chick-O’Sticks-life has been sweet to me

At the same time

I’m a mother pinching pennys, no gripping twenties milking each bill,to fill

gas tanks, hungry bellies and Nike bags-life has been a struggle to make it to the 15th

I’m somewhere in the middle

Of chasing my biggest dream of story and ryhme while searching corporate opportunities wearing high heels and Ann Taylor suits

Somewhere in the middle of complete faith and complete fear

I titor titor…in the middle

Other days I’m wide open like the refrigerator door I keep telling my kids to close

Like young love in the spring time, naive, desperate, wanting I wait for Destiny to come back this way. Gracing me with its presence, secretly wishing for him to stay forever

That is if Destiny was a “he,  I’d ask if he was cousins with Hope and Faith.

Cause I’ve been hanging out with these two girls for awhile now and I see the resemblance and I think I would get along real well with the family

Because Im getting a little tired of the middle and I want a proposal.

A sacred vow Lord, a permanent union with you to be TRANSFORMED

Taking it to the next level

I know it takes two.

I know I got issues and attitudes that still need a fixing, realigning with truth.

I also know that you are the hand and I am the cube.

Spin, twist center this mind, body, soul, do what only you can Jesus, CHANGE ME

Lord make me whole and complete

So I can live long and grow old with DESTINY

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