Possibilities-Reflections of a None Themed Birthday





(I’m back! And I missed y’all and guess what?…it’s my birthday…)

Happy Birthday to ya!
Happy Birthday to ya!

(Stevie Wonder style)

Soulful harmonies explode around a blazing number revealing the turning of another year. I always thought my favorite birthday cake was homemade until Mommy told me she just “doctored” up Betty Crocker’s yellow classic, and lathered love with the white tub of milk chocolate frosting.

I love my birthdays- especially the ones that have a theme.

Miss Piggy Power,age 9 Farrell’s restaurant. My closest friends from Meek Elementary and Frazier cousins shared the explosion of the “Volcano” filled with twenty scoops of our favorite ice cream delights. The best part of the party was stashing up on chick-o and jolly rancher sticks, boston baked beans and jaw breakers bigger than your face!

Sweet and Sassy 16, skating at Oak’s Park were we rolled and bounced to 1988’s top ten:

AL B. SURE! – Nite and Day
ROB BASE & DJ EZ ROCK – It Takes Two
PEBBLES – Girlfriend
BOBBY BROWN – Don’t Be Cruel
PEBBLES – Mercedes Boy
MORRIS DAY – Fishnet
JOHNNY KEMP – Just Got Paid

Forever 21, where I had my first drink, a Mai Thai (yes I really waited to have it legally and in the company of my parents) I guess if I was to get drunk the safest place was with my parents. I meet up later with my girlfriend’s were we clubbed all night-dancing til they sent us home. ( I met my husband of 15 years at Timothy’s that night. There is still nothing like dancing in his arms).

35 and Becoming, where I rented out Girlfriends, a NW 23rd, boutique with my favorite sistah-girls and we celebrated the little girls within us daring to live out loud our big girl lives. In a sister circle we shared our deepest childhood fears and greatest womanhood desires, vowing to become more of who we all wanted to be. I can still see the locals starring at us hitting the soul train line through the windows-I rocked my first afro that night!

And last year’s 40 and Fabulous Celebration, where forty of my girls competed for the best jeans and heals combination. (I won the contest-sorry Chelsea). By the end of the week students, family and friends had stocked me up with 40 pairs of earrings revealing their version of my personality and style-(you all know me so well).

But this birthday is real quiet and I don’t have a theme.

“Hey V, so what’s your plans for your birthday this year?”

“I don’t know yet. It hasn’t come to me.” This has been the response I keep repeating. I was uncertain, but still very confident that something inspiring or witty would hit me-it always does.

The calendar reads December 10 and I still don’t have a plan or a theme. Fresh snow has fallen, stillness and quiet are frozen all around me.

“41 and now what, Lord?”

Flashes of birthdays large and small bring comfort and joy. Faded birthday past I wrap around me like my favorite blanket.

In the quiet you gently speak, remember.

Treasure, capsule, frame your yesterdays-they are footprints to where you are from and where you’ve been. Nobody has lived the life I have given you. Memories are as individual as your footprint and smile. Don’t take the life I have already blessed you with for granted.

I also hear, reflect.

Each decade holds milestones of wins and losses, beauty and pain. Lessons failed and learned are now roadmaps to forecast your next steps. There is a reason for the silvering of the hair, wisdom is meant to shine through youthful ignorance and hasty hang-up. 

It’s time to get my “grown-up woman” on….

Finally, it took awhile to get here today but, if 41 could be themed it would be to-remix.

Now a remix done wrong is like painfully witnessing that older woman wearing her daughters too tight skinny jeans as she bends over revealing cracks and crevices  that were meant to be cemented tight-right? (If you all ever see me trying to squeeze into Aliyah’s size 3’s-sit me down-IMMEDIATELY-LOL!)

But a remix done right carefully weaves in the pages of an individuals story-past and present glory. The power of re-mixing our personal histories is the amazing gift of taking out what is no longer useful or needed and putting in fresh notes of passion and discoveries. Leaving room for new hooks and higher ranges-rebirths creativity and purpose.

Remixing should highlight the best and build-up what is void or missing. It is the turning of an “original” into a “classic“. I love being unique but I also want to be remembered-don’t you? 

My theme song this year would be the verses of past truths and knowledge bridged with a new chorus of uncharted, unknown-possibility.

There it is…“41-the making of renewed possibilities”.

Re-Mix Me

Lord God, renew and re-mix all my hopes and dreams.

I”ll sit, be still as you remake me.

New thinking, new ways you are setting.

Mold me Master into your created blessing.

I praise you for this present moment

Of old, and new, unknown

I look to you -this life to mold.





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