“I got the blogging blueeeesssss…..”
I need Ray Charles to sing this one for me.
I am low. Low on sleep, energy and ideas,” but I’m too in love with blogging to quit. Reminds me of my first break-up.
I wake up thinking about blogging. I go to bed posting my last blog. I analyze every thought, memory and present moment under the “is this blogging material” microscope.
So why did I start this in the first place?
Because I love new beginnings!
It was a new month. The evening of November 1st and the NaBloPoM0 (national blog posting month) button popped up on my Facebook screen and it was intriguing.
I didn’t plan, prep or predict what this commitment would entail. I just jumped in! Posting my first blog at 11:59pm.
I enjoy doing things on impulse. I love the excitement and adventure of it. Reminds me of one of my greatest adventures in Zimbabwe.
Nelson Mandela was going to be speaking in a nearby town (only 20 miles or so away) from our student housing. I decided I was going. Problem was I did not get permission from my professor and I had no idea how to get there or how I would get back. But do you think I allowed those few minor details to stop me? I told my professor he was going to have to get over it. Gathered up a few like minded adventurers and hitchhiked there. We did see Nelson Mandela that day,but we also had to see and deal with the consequences of a very unhappy professor-(sorry Professor Adams it was still worth it).
I love to set goals. As a matter of fact, I am the expert on,’New Goals 2.0′. I could design the software and write the book on that one baby!
Its’ the finishing. Or maybe it is the newness rubbing off. Better yet, it could be deciding that giving myself an excuse not to pursue excellence is way easier than going through a brick wall-because I think I just hit it and the month is not even over yet.
“You about to blog again?”
Jalen has noticed my new routine. After tucking my children into bed for the past 11 nights, I grab my computer and begin entering in my blog for the day. Sometimes with in an hour-but most nights it takes me 2 to 3. I’m a newbie and a horrible editor! Wicked combination y’all.
“Nope, not tonight son. I hit a wall. I can’t think of anything else to say.”
“Mom, your quitting? I thought you are suppose to blog everyday without missing for it to count.”
“Well, um …yeah…”
I’m scrabbling. I can’t seem to find the right words to cover up his disappointment in me.
“I’m tired Son. It’s not a big deal, I can just pick up tomorrow.” I say in my most convincing “I’m the Momma tone.”
“Ok Mom, it’s ok.”
He picks up on my defensiveness, but he is still struggling with my decision to miss a night due to fatigue. He’s always been a wise old man in a little body and right now I just want him to let me off the hook.
“It’s just what Son?”
“You know how you tell us not to give up when something is hard.”
Oh no he didn’t? Is he checking me right now?”
“Well?…. But if your tired….. I understand. And your right, it’s not a big deal. You can start over and do it again next month.”
Next month? One day will not hurt. It is not that serious or is it?
I’m embarassed. My heart sinks. I’m ready to cut his little lecture short.
“Good night Son.”
“Good night Momma.”
He still gives me our tradition hug and kiss on the check-making me feel like the child.
I go back to my room and finish getting ready for the evening. I turn off the light and get in bed. Hubby is already asleep.
My mind is scrambling trying to recall the last time I had given my son the same talk he just gave me.
“I know running is hard, but you’re good at it and God has given you a gift Son. I know it feels like a bear just jumped on your back-but you got to shake him off. When you get tired and you feel like you want to quit, remember to lift and look up, concentrate on your form and envision the finish line. You got this Son!”
Jalen hit a personal record that weekend in his 200 meter yard dash. He did everything I told him to do. Not only did he win, he flew into victory. The photo below captured both feet off the ground. It is a picture beautiful-a picture pure perserverance.
I turn the light back on.
I lift my laptop off the ground beside my bed.
As it warms up I begin to envision my own finish line.
I’m celebrating with Ana (my NaBloPoMo, bloggin-the-month-with-me-Sistah) as we cross the line together. 750 followers (are you kidding me???!!!!what an honor to know that my words connect with so many,I am humbled) cheering me on in virtual stands all across the country. Ashley Larkin of Draw Near (Sacred Writing Sis who just blogged the whole month of October for the first time and who has been my personal blogging coach) gives me my blue ribbon first.
And my son Jalen, nodding with assurance- just like I did, after he ran his best race of the season.
And him saying, “Mommy, I knew you could do it.”